Grief During the Holidays

Remembrance Tree
Remembrance Tree, 2014

We have grown to think of holidays as a time filled with cheer and surrounded by loved ones but many people can’t with the reminder that a certain loved one will not be there to enjoy it with. As a support for someone else or for yourself, it is important to remind ourselves to be considerate of the grief that comes with a loss, and to also see what the holidays can also mean: a time to give thanks for the blessing of the people that we still have, and the memories of those who have passed on. We know that during these times, grief can be harder to bare, so here are some important things to take into consideration when you are grieving during the holiday or if you know someone who is.

We All Handle Grief Differently

As the individuals that we are, we handle things individually as well, including our grief. Some may find joy in the holidays, remembering their loved one with joy for the life they lived, and that’s okay; others may find they need time alone, away from the holiday traditions that they have, and that’s okay too. As a support to those we love, it is important to be considerate of the ways they handle their grief.

Positive Affirmations Are Good

Asking someone how they are during the holidays without their loved one is a given: most likely, they won’t be all right on some level, and that’s okay because it is expected when dealing with grief. So instead of asking them how they are, tell them how important they are to you and how glad you are to see them. A positive sentiment will not brush the grief away, but at least it will give strength in coping with it.

Share the Memories

Instead of remembering the loss, remember the life that was lived. Sharing memories of our loved ones during the holidays is important because by sharing the good and the bad, we are acknowledging the life that we were blessed to have met. Life is filled with a balance between good and bad, and that’s just what makes it so worthwhile.

service-roxie, sherry, and I
Staff of Ellis Funeral Home (From left to right: Virginia, Roxie and Sherry)

The holidays can be filled with grief for those who are surviving a loss, which is why we must support them even more by being considerate, patient, and loving towards them in all that we do.